coping with CF
As my CF advances, I notice my limitations. My breathing has become much harder. I now have to use oxygen more often. I am notcing more pain in between my shoulder blades. Then recieving news from my pulmonologist that I am going die from this disease. I am not elgible for a lung transplant becuause of my Cornary artery disease. My hopes were demolished by those words. I am only 57 years old. I want to live. But my quality of life isnt very good. I feel a deep loss and regret that havent even done then things that I wanted to do in my life. And it is so unfrair. No one deserves this. it should not be a;llowed to ever take over & destroy lives both young and old. Life is precious and you never realize how precious it is untill you are facing a life ending disease. And that not even modern medicine with all it's breakthroughs can help you . You are told no you cant have a second chance. To have your pulmonologist tell you that he wishes that there was more that the could do for you. Forbidden by a heart that is affected by the very thing that is destroying your life. it is more pills more antibiotics. And nothing is working. I feel defeated, Angry , all the range of emotions. It is all bad news. How do you deal with the overwhelming thoughts that plague your mind , making you crazy ,thinking that you will no longer be on this earth in a few years or even months. I am not thinking any more. I feel scared & depresssed. And having so much pain both physically and emotionally . I just wish it would all end . I am tired of suffering .
, What an upsetting and frustrating experience all of this must be for you. I can hear how angry you are and to be honest, I'm annoyed as well that your pulmonologist isn't able to do anything else for you. That's the complete opposite of what you want to hear. I'm sure you were expecting them to do anything in their power to allow you to live a long, healthy life, and them telling you that there isn't anything else they can do is defeating. You absolutely do NOT deserve this, and I wish that I could do something to change how you feel.
I also want to say that I give you so much credit for continuing to fight! Living with CF is not easy and you're doing everything you can to stay healthy and live a longer life. Do you have any other support in your life that you can lean on at this time? I know that you're going through a lot right now, and this community is always here to support you as well. Please reach out anytime you feel like you want to talk. You're not alone <3 - Sarah, Cystic-Fibrosis.com Team Member
